Informed Response to Disclosure of Sexual Violation#

Since the sexual violation is always unacceptable regarding their consequence on every victim, none of us want it to happen. However, the victim could be everyone and they deserve help regardless who they are. This part will prepare knowledge for everyone who wants to give sexual violation victims the support that they deserve.

First aid#

  • Be a respective listener (let them tell the story in their own words without trying to be a solver)

    • The most important purpose of letting the victim tell the story in their own words and at their own pace is to show that they can speak out about what happened to them, that they can reach help.

    • Remember, we are listening, not solving the situation so the best we could do is simply listen with all the attention and without judgment.

    • Listen to the victim’s story with patience. If the victim shows difficulty in sharing their stories, you might suggest them to take deep breaths. You might also sit quietly and prepare for picking up where they left off when they are ready.

Reassure that you believe them and the sexual violence was not their fault#

  • Re-confirm your belief in them, reassure that you are there to clear the worry of trust, to listen and support them.

  • Assure that none of their feelings and reactions are overreactions.

  • Many victims tend to feel guilty or ashamed, or blame themselves. To deal with that, you can tell them it is normal to experience these emotions in the aftermath of a sexual violation so it is okay to have and express those thoughts and feelings. Confirm them that there is nothing to be ashamed of, and the sexual violence was not their fault.

Medical consideration#

  • After a sexual violation case, one of the things that victims is recommended to take as soon as possible is medical consideration to avoid related health problems. However, this is completely up to that person if they want and are ready for medical attention.

  • For medical consideration, there are some recommendations:

    • Check for physical injuries, both externally and internally

    • Testing and using emergency contraception for pregnancy and also counseling regarding pregnancy options including abortion.

    • Get tested and receive treatment of Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs).

  • Medical support resources include:

    • First aid kit available at Docklands, Waterfront, and at the Fulbright Campus

    • Medical considerations possible at health institutions (please refer to the Additional Resources part)

Define & aware potential triggers and trauma#

  • Triggers are understood as things that might bring back memories or feelings of the situation to the victim. Since you are trying to create a comfortable environment for their recovery, being aware and avoiding potential triggers are important steps to keep the victims away from their scars.

    • Triggers could be everything that remind them the violent experience, it could be violent images, sounds, or news about sexual violence in the media.

    • It also could be a voice, sound or smell that creates a similar environment when the violence happened.

    • A certain name or word that they were called during the assault, the looks or acts of a person like the one who violated them could also bring triggers.

  • After an overwhelming event happens, people will have their response called Trauma, which exists to help our body react immediately to perceived danger before we can understand what is happening. One of the most common types of event that causes trauma is sexual violence. Despite that, the trauma of a person is dependent on their personal experience through that event, the responses and care that person receives after that can better or worsen the trauma.

  • As a support, defining trauma during conversation is the first step to better the trauma. You may observe following signs:

    • Abnormal change in breathing such as faster breath or holding breath.

    • Shaking, rapid heart rate or increased blood pressure.

    • Muscle stiffness, difficulty relaxing, flood of strong emotions.

    • Staring into distance, losing the connection with reality and losing focus.

    • Inability to speak, concentrate, or respond to instructions

    • If you found some of these trauma responses in a conversation with the victim, you should pause the conversation and help them take back the connection with the present. You may inform trauma as a normal response to an overwhelming event, and how they become the “challenging” or “difficult” to overcome. However, bear in mind that it is not necessary to ask the person about the traumatic event.

Recovery#

  • Create a comfortable environment to share (create safety and trust environment)

    • After building trust and defining potential triggers/traumas in the first-aid steps, building a safety enviroment is nessescry to help the victim step out of their fears and be kept away from the potential triggers or traumas.

    • We can start by being with them in finding safeness. There are some recommendations for the open up:

      • “Are you currently somewhere that you feel safe?”

      • “Are you currently somewhere that you feel safe?”

      • “What can we do to help you feel safer?”

      • “ Do you want me to stay on the phone with you until you get somewhere that you feel safer?”

      • In case they emailed or messaged you :”Do you want me to call you?”,”Is now an okay time to call?”

    • This safety environment is not only to not remind them about the violent event but also to keep them away from danger after the violation event. In case the victim still is threatened or in immediate danger, work with them to get out of the situation. This could include calling the police. However, remember that someone may not feel comfortable or safe with calling the police. There are emergency police numbers (for immediate case only):

      • 113 - Quick response police

      • (028) 3771 4563 - Tân phú Ward Police

      • (028) 3785 1787 - Police District 7

      • (028) 5411 3113 - Phú Mỹ Hưng Security Team

      • 0347 972 250 RA Dockland

  • During the recovery period, you must be aware of your own boundaries as a support person. The act of promising and taking on what you cannot will destroy the safety environment that you tried to built.

  • Respect language choice and gender identity

    • When the victim is able to told the story by their own words, try to reflect (use) words that they used to call the violence event, which they used to refer themself or the person that violated them. The words “perpetrator, “rapist”, or “abuser” may overwhelming the victim unless they used those in their story. They could use words like ” words friend”, “partner”, “relative”, or “co-worker” and that is totally okay to follow, however, remember to remind the victim that what happened with them was not okay.

    • Many victims worry and feel uncomfortable when they are asked to identify their gender. Using the correct pronouns (he, she, they, etc.) is crucial in those cases. Misgendering, which means when someone uses the wrong pronoun or refers to the person as the wrong gender, can be very hurtful or harmful, especially with transgender, non-binary, and gender diverse people. Sexual violence can also be used to enforce gender roles. For example, a transgender man may be assaulted by someone who refuses to regard him as a man, misgendering in this case may cause extreme triggers.

Restore choice and power#

  • Only the victim has the clearest experience of what happened, they may fear or be concerned that you will not understand. It is totally normal and even if you have been through different experiences or have differing opinions, it is important to acknowledge and respect the person’s experiences and concerns.

  • Restoring victim’s control of what happened next to them is the way of restoring choice and power. It is necessary to ask for the victim’s permission if you want to gift support on making decisions. After having the permission, you can start by asking things such as “What would you like to happen next?”. You can offer ideas and review options with them but influencing their decisions may not a good idea since those are your personal decisions (This includes whether or not they report what happened to police). If the survivor is still not ready for these next steps, it is totally fine, you can say something like “It is okay if you are not ready for the next steps, we can just talk”.